Finding yourself

28-10-2013 10:05

‘’He who knows others is wise, he who knows himself is enlightened’’ – by Lao Tzu

Do you sometimes wonder who you really are?

Do you feel that you are constantly adapting yourself to suit the needs of others?

Do you have multiple, conflicting roles in life that leave you feeling confused or compromised?

Do you feel that you are not relating to others as effectively as you would like?

We live in a complicated world that seems to expect us to be lots of different things all the same time. Very rarely are we called on just to be ourselves- yet strangely when we see that in others we applaud it and call it things like ‘’individuality’’, ‘’charisma’’, and ‘’inspiring leadership’’.

Deep within our DNA there is an altruistic drive to support the group which demonstrates how important relating to others is. What motivates us as individuals starts with the basic needs such as food and shelter. After that our main motivating factors are relating  to others, being ourselves and developing to fulfill our potential. Finding and understanding yourself is not simply an interesting pastime for the few, it is an intrinsic need in all of us. However we are not all at the same stage of this development and there does seem  to be a journey through different levels of needs and development that we tend to travel through.

Different things motivate different people!

At different  stages in our life we are motivated by different things- what pre-occupies us in the morning of life fades away in the afternoon. Without nurture our natural talents may lie dormant. Without an internal sense of acceptance  we can continue to compromise ourselves please others and not be true to ourselves. The world is constantly changing and without understanding yourself you may struggle to thrive- or even survive in the changing environment. Finding and understanding ourselves enables us to let go of outdated notions and respond to the changing world as it really is- but this is very difficult to do if these beliefs from an integral part of our identity.

We all have roles to play in our lives and these change as we move through it. We all start as a son or daughter, maybe then add to that the role of brother or sister, then friend, pupil, team-mate, student, girlfriend or boyfriend, candidate, employee, colleague, partner, husband or wife, manager, father or mother, aunt or uncle, godparent, grandparent … the list goes on!

We all perform roles in life, yet we are not our roles and if we identify too closely with them we may feel safe – but only temporarily. We are also not our personality, which has in large part been forged as a result of the experiences of surviving and protecting ourselves in the real world. Getting back in touch with who you really are is about becoming aware of the rules in the rule book that you have acquired during your life – and identifying the ones that do not fit the real you.

Finding yourself Is probably the most significant thing you can do to improve your quality of life. Life is not about pleasing others and playing a roles scripted by others, but about being our true selves and exploring the unique potential within each of us. As you increase your self-understanding and get back in touch with your true self, you will feel freer to operate as an autonomous individual, fulfill your potential , respond creatively to the changing world and develop deeper more productive relationships. You will operate in tune with yourself whilst being sensitive to the needs of others, expressing yourself in your own uniquely creative way – and this will be recognized by others as the charisma of true authenticity.

DON'T WAIT to SAY or DO what you truly want... In the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take, relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make.

Many people are currently unemployed at home while they can earn a lot of money. Yes, you have to go through your comfort zone and you have to learn something new. But it can give you a life of freedom. Go wherever you want. Surely this is something everyone would like you might think. What do you think of that? Find yourself and do something new!

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